LETTER TO MY COUNSELOR

Dear Madam Counselor,

I am glad to know how important my case is to you and also I am blessed to see someone show so much respect to me. I am writing you so you know that I won’t be sitting on that chair of yours again due to reasons I am about explaining.

My relationship life has been like a carousel, my heart like a battlefield where the only loser is the battlefield itself. I am always a hopeless romantic and would always experience a one sided relationship, a halfway love.

Madam counselor, you tried your very best to heal my heart of all brokenness and pain but yet every of your effort proved futile. It isn’t your fault but mine cos I didn’t open my heart to every remedy you gave me.

Have you ever loved someone so much but you discovered that you would never be with that person? I have and it gave me a scar that wouldn’t heal with time. They said time heals all but it couldn’t heal mine, rather time took me into a delusional mode which makes me look normal from the outside but abnormal from within.

Have been hurt by love, it gave me pain and made me make sacrifices I never expected myself to make but at the end, love left me to bear the anguish it created in my heart.

Every time I come to your office and sit on that chair, you only ask me questions that my reality wouldn’t give answers to, you never knew my stories.

Have been hurt four times, four different ladies and you expect me to go out and find love again?

After one full year, Gladys told me am just a brother and an ally. I am someone she wouldn’t want to have a romantic relationship with. I was there for her and she gave me more reason to sacrifice for her. She felt comfortable with me than any other guy and made me believe things could work out between us until she changed her mind. I became a fool; she stopped taking my calls and left me in the wilderness for over a year.

I spent three years as a friend of Debbie, and after graduation I proposed to her. After eight months of dating, she sacrificed our love for another guy. She forgot the values we placed on each other and asked for a break up. My first girlfriend broke up with me a day to her birthday, I had no fault and I made myself vulnerable just for her. Since then I promised not to give love a chance.

I met Adesua about nine months later and wow I rejoiced because my heart loves again. I had no riches, but I offered all I could offer especially my time. She was the best lady have ever loved and our relationship gave me the deepest scar. Her laughter and her sweat are just so beautiful. She gave me hope and made me see that light at the end of my dark tunnel of a failed relationship.

But it didn’t end as “ and they lived happily ever after”, she called the love she had for me “puppy love” and also placed a restraint in our relationship till what she had for me died off.

And finally Roe, youngest of them all and a little bit like Adesua.

After about a year, she termed it all as infatuation.

I thought she is the one cos everything about us tried erasing the heartbreaking relationship I had with Adesua but I never knew that the end would be so heart crushing.

Ever wondered how it would feel like when a lady you really made a lot of sacrifice for and everyone around you and her really cherished your relationship only for her to tell you that she doesn’t love you and also tried to look so innocent but yet cruel lacking an ounce of emotion and finally termed it all as “INFATUATION!!!”

So Madam Counselor, should I keep on giving love a chance till my heart melts away and I have no flesh in me to pump the blood I need to live my solitary life? Relationship isn’t meant for me, it’s not something I could maintain or keep lubricating.

Should I still give love a chance?

                                                                                                Yours,

                                                                                      Hopeless Romantic